I am familiar with that look. However fleeting, I know it so well.
It is the look of many guys I have liked, who has his heart set on another girl. I sit in a room full of crowded people. Chatter floats to the ceiling, leaving my shifty glances unnoticed. Finally he notices my gaze and an electricity binds the connection. The atmosphere bows out of my consciousness as my eyes stubbornly watch his. My already broken heart pounds, the crevasses exposed, vulnerable.
Within the next two seconds, I have already imagined us together, what our wedding was like, what his laugh sounds like. A span of company stretches beyond this moment.
Oh, what could be.
He sees the longing in my eyes, and deflects the look of interest. His gaze drops to the ground, and just like that, the moment is gone. I am the one left with my feelings, he was never interested in me, I remember. I am dragged back into reality, invited into conversation by a different guy, wearing the googly-eyed glasses as he looks at me. A sigh escapes as my heart tries to close.
I don't understand. All the Romance movies gave me the impression I would not have these problems. How is it that guys I am not interested in, are interested in me. And the guy I am interested in has no room in his heart for me?
Just like a little girl runs off a soccer field to her daddy after getting hurt, my attention turns to God. Disappointment brimming and eyes flooding. The spaces between my fingers feel emptier than ever as I look up to Him. Tears blur my vision but I can faintly see him smile a sad sort of smile. "Trust me Daughter", He says and offers me His hand.
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