didn't think i'd be back here.

today i went to the doctors

and left with a prescription for anti-depressants.

that was a request i didn't think i would have to make

again.

i am experiencing the familiar traits of;

not being interested in what used to grip me,

wanting to spend all day in bed,

not being interested in food,

isolating myself from people,

thinking there's something wrong with me and everyone else must be so happy,

self-talk that makes me feel small.

it feels like life takes a lot from me,

but doesn't give much back.

why am i back in depression?

i am meant to be happy;

it is summer time after all.

i just want a happy mental health

i want to be an optimist who only sees possibilities.

i just want to be free.

i am wondering how long it will take

to come out the other side of this season.

i don't think it is fair that i have to go through it a third time.

i think it is time for me to build my home in the land of contentment.

i will start looking at what land is available there.