soul-tired.

i am tired
of this crap.

the kind of tired
that swells beyond
a poor night's sleep.

the kind of tired
that accumulates
from fighting and falling
every
damn
day.

the kind of tired
that is met at the end
of the hope-dissappointment
cycle.

the hope that maybe,
he does like me back.
the dissappointment
upon realising that
no,
he does not.

the kind of tired
that triumphs
because i do not know
how to explain to people
that every day
i am met with a mental struggle.

i have to fight
and they're not seeing that.
they only know my smile.

how on earth
am i supposed to explain
what it feels like
to be this tired
without scaring them?